I have dated alot of people online and I think its by far the best way to relate to people. When I take on a purpose (like dating), I tend to launch myself into it. Thats fine, but I would advice against engaging in dialogue with too many people as you will tend to treat them as a commodity. You will also convey the message that they are a 'commodity' because you will be mixing up people, calling them by the wrong name. They will of course think the worst. If they are an attractive 'prospect' you might blow an opportunity early. Thats not to say you cant turn the situation around, but people are very cynical at first. My choice is to talk to 4 until I have enough information to eliminate some. I will tend to meet the final candidate if they dont have any attributes that dont break my list.
People tend to think online dating is risky...seemingly because its anonymous. That might be true for children who cannot see the age of the counterparty, but for adults I think its easy to judge. Here are some tips:
1. Dont give out personal address info - where you work, live, etc
2. Meet in a public at first
3. Ask probing questions without being cynical or judgemental.
4. Chat in a combination of text and voice mode to gauge the authenticity of the counterparty. Its easier for a counterparty to contrive an artificial story if your correspondence is by email than if by other modes. Chat with Internet Messenger (Gmail, Yahoo, etc) is best because it saves a record of your conversations.
5. Read over your conversations with your counterparty with the intent of doing a sublte integrity check. Anyone that is not accountable for what they say likely has a vulnerability or insecurity that should be explored.
6. Remain engaged, by emapthetic and not to fast to judge.
7. Keep a positive and humoress tone to your dialogue.
------------------------------------People tend to think online dating is risky...seemingly because its anonymous. That might be true for children who cannot see the age of the counterparty, but for adults I think its easy to judge. Here are some tips:
1. Dont give out personal address info - where you work, live, etc
2. Meet in a public at first
3. Ask probing questions without being cynical or judgemental.
4. Chat in a combination of text and voice mode to gauge the authenticity of the counterparty. Its easier for a counterparty to contrive an artificial story if your correspondence is by email than if by other modes. Chat with Internet Messenger (Gmail, Yahoo, etc) is best because it saves a record of your conversations.
5. Read over your conversations with your counterparty with the intent of doing a sublte integrity check. Anyone that is not accountable for what they say likely has a vulnerability or insecurity that should be explored.
6. Remain engaged, by emapthetic and not to fast to judge.
7. Keep a positive and humoress tone to your dialogue.
Andrew Sheldon www.sheldonthinks.com
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